Concordia Discors

First! My DSL is back! OMG, I have missed the internet. :D

In other news: Soon I will be in VEGAS. And that requires a completely pointless and yet very important poll. I will put it behind a cut to spare you.

( Vegas, baby! )

And also, ( some recs and pimping! )

So that's it! My DSL is back YAY!

First, a picture of the crazy daisies I bought at the store today, because they scream HAPPY!

( Aren't they pretty? )

Also, I'm going to Vividcon. I think. So who else is going that I don't already know about? *looks around* way2busymom??

And then, because girlmostlikely and lemmealone did it and I love them like pie (which technically means they should go on my list)...

I love:

Crazy daisies on my coffee table. Soft blankets. Sunday morning newspapers. Iced mochas with whipped cream. Prisms. Cheese, onion and mayo sandwiches. Random YouTube hilarity. Imaginary men named Winchester. The way colors change when the sun comes out in front of dark clouds. Seeing my friends be happy. Owning my own house. Writing schmoopy domestic J2. Reading Break Loose Ranch stories over again. 80's music. Icons of Dean being pretty. Icons of Sam being hot. Fans saying smart thinky things about the shows I love. Sentimental sports-related movies. SPN-J2-Big Bang. Lack of clutter. Anticipation over shiny fannish things, like new SPN eps and new stories. Unexpected kindness, given and received. Lucius Vorenus. Total independence. The mutual trust and respect of good friends. Classic movies. Old family photos. Comfy old ratty T-shirts. Freedom, and all the responsibility that goes with it.

I'd give hugs all around, but my arms are tired. *g*

When I was wee, I used to put the 45 of Beat It on the turntable and dance my ass off to it over, and over, and over, and over, until my dad lost his shit and made me stop. I remember the day the short film of Thriller premiered on MTV. It was a Huge Deal in ways that are hard to imagine nowdays, when you can have anything you want at your fingertips on YouTube or elsewhere on the internet justlikethat. I would wait hours to see the next playing of that video, or Billy Jean, or those really dated-looking but hypnotic ones like Don't Stop Til You Get Enough or Rock With You (green laser light FTW!) and yes. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, was able to do the moonwalk and the zombie dance. And no one thought it was weird that he grabbed his crotch all the time, or talked like he was on helium, or wore one glove and sparkly socks and high water pants. It was the 80's, and lo, it was good.

Rest in peace, Michael Jackson. You lived a pretty bizarre and sad life, and did some veeeeery questionable things re kids (your own, and others'), but you brought tremendous joy to millions of people with your music and videos, so I hope you are at peace.

(And Farrah. Woe. Best hair ever. A trend that, to this day, still has not completely died.)

What follows is a bit of a rant, in which I use a sparkly pony as a metaphor for shiny happy things in fandom. You've been warned.

Fandom is currently having the warnings debate for the 234509234029323409th time. This comes on the heels of the last five debates/kerfuffles just like it. Is there really anyone in fandom at this point who hasn't read every single permutation of this debate? And yet, we all still get worked up about it, and the more we read, the more pissed off/frustrated/annoyed we get, every single time. Including me. It's like being attracted to a bug light, with full knowledge that it's going to electrocute you, but not able to escape the hypnotic allure of DOOM.The same ten arguments are made, the same ten posts are written ad infinitum, things devolve into wank, and everyone spends their day unhappy. People become quite outraged when I say I don't find these discussions to be worth my time and energy anymore. They take it personally, as if I've just shot their puppy. And kicked it in the head for good measure. They seem to feel my weariness is somehow a judgment on their belief that Debate On Topic X Is Important.

Does anyone else find this whole fannish cycle kind of epically tiring? Because I sure do.

I stewed about this all day yesterday. I thought about how over the last couple of years, people condescend to me more and more when I buck the trend with my opinions, or when I say I want fandom to be my happy place, and I want to focus my attention on sparkly ponies instead of repetitive, fractious, intense discussions about Very Important Societal and Fannish Topics A Through Z. I've been accused of trying to put down discussion when I've expressed a wish for a sparkly pony. I've even been accused of Not Understanding Very Important Points, which, you know, trust me -- my IQ is on the high end of peachy keen, and I get it. I just don't agree sometimes, and tolerance of divergent opinions used to be one of the most fabulous things about fandom - but now I often sense that it's not okay to disagree anymore, and I resent like hell being treated like I'm mentally defective if I disagree. And then I feel like someone threw shit on my pony, and now it stinks, and also it sparkles a whole lot less.

I thought quite a bit about how fandom raises my blood pressure now instead of chilling me out, most of the time. About how some fans seem to have forgotten how to reasonably disagree, or how people mostly want to get their point across and tell you how wrong you are and what a moron you are (or your insulting name of choice) if you don't hold the prevalent POV. How fans I used to respect have become condescending, and how they often resort to tactics that are really off-putting. I think about the straw man arguments and the ad hominem attacks and the ridiculous generalizations and the bandwagon mentality (ie, 5 trillion comments going 'yes! that!' make you Right and other people saying 'wait a second...' well...they are Not Right, of course, and the group will dismiss their feelings extensively until they understand their wrongness).

I think of myself as very level-headed and polite in fannish debates. Of course, I've said a lot of things in fandom I wish I could take back, or that I think probably I should not have said the way I did. Lately due to my frustration level, that has happened a lot when I comment to others' posts. But more and more, I just find myself turning away from people who can't disagree without hurling insults or accusing those who disagree of being worthless human beings who don't have basic values or morals like 'decent people' (ie, fans who agree) do. It's as if this is a given, as if it's just assumed to be true. And I don't want to be one of those sanctimonious people who are all, be nice! be tolerant! on the other side, because that's really irritating, too. But...you know. When I see names being called, or people being rude to others because they express a different point of view, the valid point they may be trying to make is immediately lost on me. That's all.

Mostly, I'm just over it. Over the endless debates, and over getting angry every time the same things are said again and again. It's like, good god, fandom, don't you have ANYTHING BETTER TO DO than go through the latest argument and the wank that follows it EVERY SINGLE TIME? Can't we agree to disagree? Can't we just have sparkly ponies today? But then, of course, one gets accused of a) squashing discussion or b) being dismissive of others' points of view or c) being a secret racist/sexist/misogynist/whatever who refuses to get on the bandwagon of correctness or d) not caring how other people feel/being discourteous/lacking morals and ethics or e) silently supporting the 'wrong' point of view because you choose not to engage or f) harshing the squee or g) trying to stifle Important Topics in Fandom or h) being too intensely stupid to get it and thus in need of education and/or correction, and it's so. Damn. Tiring.

When really? I just want to enjoy my sparkly pony.

I am about a week behind, but that seems to be the norm for me, lately. Sigh. There were so many nice things here on LJ to make my birthday a lovely day! Thank you, lanning, girlmostlikely, and wendy for the lovely v-gifts! And to arlad, for the message, and oxoniensis and mz_bstone for the cards. And thank you to everyone who posted birthday wishes, or left me comments with happy wishes. It was all very lovely. :)

And then, because I am the luckiest girl ever, people wrote a wonderfully eclectic batch of birthday stories and drabbles for me! The best part is, everyone else gets to read them, too. *g*

Don't go to bed angry by deirdre_c, which is Jared and Jensen behaving like Real Boys, and then making up. HAPPY PLACE! (J2, RPS)

Paused by dotfic, who managed to combine my prompts for puppies, sunshine, and old photographs into a gorgeous little moment in time for Sam and Dean. (Sam and Dean, Gen)

never my intention by killabeez, which takes Sam and Dean at an ending, and gives them a new beginning, so poignant and perfect, GUH. (Sam/Dean.)

Flotsam by teand, a drabble which I promise will make you love Gen and Danneel totally by the 100th word. :D (J2, but mostly Gen and Danneel)

AND!

The Eye Of The Camera by halfshellvenus, a happy-making birthday drabble after which she unexpectedly brings the J2 eye candy, too. *g* (J2)

Special hugs to luzdeestrellas, teand and troyswann. Just because.

Third snippet from the prompts left for me in this post.

This is for three people, because I combined their prompts. hd_obsession set the mood with this picture; agentotter asked for change of seasons; and dine asked for dogs run amok. J2, 1,280 words, PG.

( proper motivation )

Second of the requests from this post. For mickeym and cattraine, whose prompts I combined together to come up with Dean and Sam retired, and Dean finding something new to keep him busy. *g* Sam/Dean, adult, 1400 words. With huge thanks again to teand, nu_breed, and luzdeestrellas for speedy beta!

( home front )

This is the first of the short story requests you guys made last week in response to this post. Altogether I ended up with over 40 requests (!!), and needless to say, I can't write that many. *g* But I will be posting several this week, I hope.

First up: For winterweathered and essene, who both requested something where Jensen says he's moving out. (To which I say, ha! As if he would do such a thing! And that is how stories are born.) J2, PG, about 1,800 words. Many thanks to luzdeestrellas, teand, and nu_breed for beta.

( natural progression )

I feel like I've forgotten how to write short pieces. So! Is there anyone out there who would like me to write them a short snippet? Jared/Jensen? Or Sam/Dean? If so, please to be commenting here with your request, and feel free to give me a picture, a prompt, something to think over. Comments are screened; I will snag a couple I think I can do, maybe, and then on June 13, wee snippets will magically appear here like sprinkles on a delicious cupcake. I hope. Sometimes, no snippets appear, and it's all very sad. One can but try.

Mmmm, it is a tasty J2 weekend. You know what I thought when I first saw ( this picture? )

Credit for photo to demonhunter82. Oh my god, BOYS. \o/!

(Where is everybody?? It's so quiet around here.)

Today I have the day off, so I set off to the local (for some definitions of local) upscale mall in search of fantastically beautiful work clothes. I failed to find any, after pawing the clothes at about 6 stores, but that didn't stop me from spending an hour in Borders (at the same mall) reading various magazines, or stopping in at The Body Shop to snag a bag full of things that smell yummy. For instance, Wild Cherry Body Butter, and Peppermint Cooling Foot Spray (to make hot stinky feet smell better, apparently? After a long day of spending money at the mall?), and Satsuma Body Polish (which is sort of spicy and delicious-smelling), and Monoi Miracle Oil (which smells of soft jasmine).

Then I stopped off at the Cheesecake Factory for a pomegranate mojito (hey, 11 AM is totally late enough for a mojito!), a delicious Cuban sandwich, and a piece of Kahlua Cocoa Coffee Cheesecake (for taking home). YUM.

Tonight I'm going to a local play, and tomorrow I'm going to see Night at the Museum (probably; I thought the first one was dumb, but I can totally be persuaded by the promise of a bag of that buttered popcorn my arteries are crying out against). And tomorrow night, I'm headed to the symphony. To hear a program of music by Copland and Bernstein, etc.

Have you noticed how all these things require me to leave the house and not be hermit-like? Yes, me too. It's like I don't even know me.

In other news, iamrosalita has bravely posted her very first vid -- a Burn Notice vid, for all of you who enjoy that show -- and you can find it here, for purposes of perusal and possible commentary, if you so desire.

In other other news, the tree outside my front door has sprouted big white blooms. I'm trying not to be alarmed by this development. This whole 'front row to nature' business is so perplexing.

I have loaded the couch to 5K program into my iPod. I have purchased an armband for my iPod. And yet, my feet refuse to cooperate with the whole 'heading out for a nice walk which might become a run' thing. Oh, body. Why so stubbornly unfit?

And finally: Above and Below, an SPN vid by counteragent, is so perfectly character-centric and wonderful, and I love it unreasonably.

Hope you all have a lovely weekend, free of surprise!magnolias and filled with videos of Jensen and Jared pawing each other incessantly.

Simple Pleasures
J2, about 2880 words, adult
Summary: Jensen loves Jared's bed.
Notes: for girlmostlikely on her birthday. Happy birthday, Ginger. :)

( below the cut )

OMG, you guys, I have to wait TWO MORE HOURS for the finale. It's just not right. So if you've seen it, please take the poll. I have to steel myself for what's coming. *vibrates with fear* But please, no specific spoilers in comments!!

( poll behind cut just in case )

So, here is how much of a Star Trek geek I am: when the Star Trek Encyclopedia was in its first printing, I found 70+ factual errors and wrote an indignant letter to Michael Okuda, and that is how my name came to be listed in the acknowledgments (with several hundred other eagle-eyed nerds) in the revised version. Can you say Trek nerd? I think you can. First fannish love.

( Now let's talk about the movie. Which I LOVED. Many spoilers here. )

You know, April was hell month for me. Basically April's activities consisted of a) work b) work more c) eat d) sleep e) repeat a through d. So today, when I woke up and it was beautiful, glorious May 1, and I was not at work, and hell month had reached its end, I rejoiced! And then I promptly blew off all the important things I've been putting off for a month anyway (so tired! So not wanting to be grown-up today!) and I went to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine. And I freaking loved it.

( spoilers beneath cut )

And then I went out to the lobby and bought my tix for Star Trek next Friday at 10:30. I always go first day; have since I stood in line for ST:TMP in 1979 when I was wee.

Let's see...what else. barkley and I finished our Club Vivid vid, and I did the tech for the first time on one of our vids, and I did not screw the tech up! Which, if you know me and vidding at all, is a huge thing. I count that as a TOTAL WIN. Tho there was a sort of major technical issue at the end, but I kept on trying until I resolved it. I feel like a cleared a 90 foot hurdle. *g*

Re Dreamwidth: I'm destina over there; if you want me to grant you access there for some far future point when I might post there (provided I already have you on *this* friends list), you need to let me know you're over there, because truthfully, I've missed a lot on LJ in April, and will never be able to backtrack through it all. Please note, because it can't be said often enough, apparently: not moving there, not crossposting to there. LJ is where I live at the moment. This is where I will be posting; this is the flist I will be reading regularly for the time being. I don't have time for both.

I'm going to conclude with a few words about the Winchesters in SPN 4x19 and 4x20. I wanted to end with this so that people who already clicked in on the first cut tag wouldn't be accidentally spoiled, so now is your time to exit!

( Oh, show. )

All righty, then. I am opinionated today. It won't last; I'm too busy to be opinionated on a regular basis like I used to be. *g*

True Love's Kiss
J2 AU, approx 7,500 words, adult
Summary: Prince Jared has a plan: slay the dragon, wake the princess with a kiss, and live happily ever after...but he'll settle for two out of three.

Notes: Written for the j2_everafter challenge. This story is very loosely based on Disney's Sleeping Beauty. There are also elements of the classic Sleeping Beauty fairy tale, and then there's the meta, and the crack... With thanks to teand and deirdre_c, who beta read and were terrific cheerleaders, and didn't even mock me. Much.

lostt1 has created a piece of unbelievably gorgeous art for this story - AMAZING art, OMG. Her art post is here. See icon for preview. (She made icons, too!) I can never, ever thank her enough; this piece of art is my total happy place. :D

( story under here! )